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| Quiz: Does Your Film Put the Audience to Sleep? |
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| CAPTION: |
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Does YOUR independent film put the audience to sleep? Answer this multiple choice quiz truthfully and find out for sure.
QUIZ
1) Do the characters do anything?
a) Yes.
b) Sometimes.
c) No, but they think about doing things.
d) Yes, and they have character arcs besides.
e) Only offscreen.
2) Does your script have a beginning, middle and end?
a) It is a taut drama with a stirring setup, lots of complications and a surprise ending.
b) It is a romantic comedy with a cute meet, lots of complications and an expected but adorable ending.
c) It is a buddy road trip, during which the buddies discover the true meaning of buddyhood.
d) It has a beginning and end but no middle.
e) Nothing happens.
3) Did you cast the most riveting and compelling actors you could find?
a) Yes.
b) Most riveting but not most compelling.
c) Most compelling but not most riveting.
d) Semi-riveting, semi-compelling.
e) I cast myself.
4) Does even your title put the audience to sleep?
a) The title is memorable.
b) The title is clever.
c) The title is similar to a hit movie so people will see it by mistake.
d) The title was generated by a computer program.
e) I can't remember the title.
5) Did you fall asleep while writing, shooting and editing your movie?
a) No.
b) Fell asleep while writing but not while shooting or editing.
c) Fell asleep while writing and editing but not while shooting.
d) Fell asleep while shooting and editing but while not writing.
e) Yes.
ANSWERS (Don't peek before completing the quiz)
For every a)answer, subtract 5 points.
For every b)answer, subtract 3 points.
For every c)answer, subtract 1 point.
For every d)answer, leave your score unchanged.
For every e)answer, give yourself 10 points and a pat on the back.
If you scored 45-50 points, your movie rocks...the audience to sleep. Awesome!
If you scored 35-44 points, you’re on your way, but realize you can do better and probably will with more effort.
If you scored 25-34 points, now is the time to do some soul searching. Is putting the audience to sleep really your goal, or are you caught up in the values of 1900s filmmakers like George Lucas, John Ford and the Marx Brothers, who were making films in a simpler time?
If you scored 15-24 points, you might want to think about getting out of the filmmaking business entirely. Try selling downloadable self-help ebooks on Amazon till you find a field you’re better suited for.
Under 15? You've been sneaking off to those seminars on how to keep the audience awake, haven't you.
HOW TO RAISE YOUR SCORE
Wondering what you can do to score higher—and get your audience to sleep even faster? Watch films that put the audience to sleep more quickly than yours. See what those films do that yours doesn’t.
The Birth of a Nation, the first feature film, is over three hours long, silent and nearly a hundred years old. Tough competition, but you can always buy a video editing program with an old film look filter. Even muvee autoProducer 5 has one, and it can re-edit your movie on its own, mindlessly, which means it won’t balk at deleting an interesting part that a human such as yourself would mistakenly hang onto.
The Cure for Insomnia is 87 hours of poetry, so sleeping through it is a no-brainer, but prints are hard to come by and cumbersome to store.
WebcamMurder.com, on the other hand, is a contemporary film, only 85 minutes long and—you’re in luck—it is available on Amazon.
As the creator of this strikingly soporific movie, I am amazed by its continuing power to make me forget my troubles and nod off EVERY time I see it. If I can sleep through my own movie after five years of editing it into a stupor, imagine the effect it will have on a first time viewer such as yourself.
NOW GO OUT AND DO IT!
Don’t let these giants in the genre intimidate you. You too can make a movie that puts the audience to sleep.
1. Write down your goal: "Put audience to sleep."
2. Take time out at least twice a day to visualize yourself achieving it.
3. Go out and make your movie. Your doubts will melt away, your new-found self-trust will pay off and, as if by magic, your independent film will put the audience to sleep. |
| LOCATION: |
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Los Angeles, California USA 90093 |
| FILE DATE: |
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2007-01-13 10:50:49 |
| FILE FORMAT: |
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image/jpeg |
| FILE SIZE: |
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1.09 MB |
| COMPANY: |
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Film Sleepy LLC |
| CONTACT: |
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Sondra Lowell |
| CONTACT PHONE: |
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323-982-7092 |
| COPYRIGHT HOLDER: |
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Sondra Lowell |
| ORIGINAL IMAGE |
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1597 x 2800 @ 100 PPI |
| PHOTOGRAPHER/ARTIST |
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William Anderson |
| BYLINE TITLE |
|
photographer |
| LICENSE: |
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Attribution Non-commercial No Derivatives (by-nc-nd)
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 2.5 License.
For complete details see
http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-nd/2.5/ |
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